He even declared my Master’s degree “fluff”

When I first moved here, I was lucky enough to work at a place that had such cool people that I liked them very much and, as a result, had found a nice little friend base to go with the salary and fabulous commute (a commute I now recall wistfully (sigh)). I also had cool roommates, which led to another li’l base of friends. Meeting so many people so soon made for a nice soft landing here in Cali and I was feeling lucky about attracting as many good people into my life as possible (Hi, I’m Friend Glue!). To this end, I was always on the lookout for more friends and maybe even something more. It was the Friends category I was thinking of when I wrote the following email, though re-reading it, it appears to be more in the Flirt-A-Thon-2005 camp. It was met very positively as such by the recipient who I’d come to refer to as the Surfing Doctor to my new pals, on account of he surfed and was a doctor. (And since the nickname was so obvious, I came to refer to myself as the Obvious Nicknamer. (I’ll leave it to you to untangle how I came up with that one.))

Following said email, the Surfing Doctor (aka Peter) and I had a date that was nothing short of disastrous (okay, okay, I’m exaggerating: wildly uncomfortable). I was super late (had to look good, you know?), he was super hungry (and thus a little short of patience) and then, over dinner, he tried very hard to impress me by knowing everything (including current events I should have known, but didn’t (so embarrassing, I should have studied first!)) and comparing his work experience and salary with mine. Hott.

Needless to say, there was no second date, but we’ll always have the intro:

Hi Peter,

It's a bit awkward trying to email someone that your friend doesn't even know to say you should meet. I tried to come up with clever ways of introducing myself ([Starpower]) to you. Here were the finalists:


Breezy:

Hey Pete,

I'm your MN pal's pal and we live close to each other in LA. Maybe we should get a beer sometime? No worries either way.

Peace,
[Starpower]


Super-important LA-style:

Peter, right?

I heard you wanted to meet me. I'm like super-busy, but I guess I could meet you for martinis in WeHo. I just heard about the HOTTEST spot. Don't worry, I can totally get us in.

You're welcome,
Chantal [stage name]


Nervous:

Um, Peter?

I don't know if you remember, but your friend Joanne mentioned that her friend Susan has a friend who lives in LA? Um, well, that's me and if you wanted to get a beer sometime, well, I don't know if you drink and if you don't drink that's TOTALLY fine (I mean, I'm totally not a big drinker either PLEASE don't think I'm an alcoholic!!!!), but then maybe we could get some coffee? Unless you don't drink caffeine (oh my gah am I doing this all wrong? Are you sooo offended??). Well, I don't know, a hike or frisbee...unless you're not outdoorsy. Oh my gah this is soooo hard! Just, I don't know, get in touch if you want to hang out sometime. I understand if you're too busy to meet up. I didn't mean to take up so much of your time.

Sorry.


Frat boy:

'sup brah?!

My girl Su said your friend thought we should hang out. You in?? Just be warned, dude, that I like to pound beers [not really] and can quote ALL of Old School [kinda]. Not trying to be a dick, man, but only call if you can hang.

later.
[Star]-dog


Formal/legal:

Mr. XXXXXX,

Pursuant to discussions held in Minnesota between one Joanne [last name?] and one Susan XXXXX [weird last name], I am making contact via email to suggest [got too boring, had to abandon ship]


Okay, so there you have it, my best(?) attempts. Anyway, I live in Venice and would like to meet up sometime. Suie (aka Susan, aka my girl Su) will be in town this weekend (yay!) so that could be a really fun time to hang out if you want to join us.

Let me know!