Straighten up and cough right.

Your sneeze could use some help, too.

No offense, but maybe this intructional video can lead you to improved management of your semi-involuntary bodily functions.

Note: You can still fake-cough the word "bullshit" into your hands. (Same with other words such as "yeah right" and "I hate the president" though these take more advanced fake-coughing techniques.)


You're welcome and God bless you.