Why charming people should only live where I live

Allow me to discourage you from talking to anyone when you're travelling. Even if you're with your friends in New York City in a bar. Even if you feel like flirting. Even if you think the dude trying to talk you up is a giant tool. Don't talk to him. If you do, you might realize that not only is he the awesomest person you could imagine but that he also lives near your hometown, near your family and longtime friends and, talking to him, you get very crushed out and you kiss and exchange information and you email and he responds, saying he'll be on your side of the country in a matter of weeks and then you play crazy phone tag to the point where you wonder if you're ever supposed to talk at all. And then you realize you're not. Because a month or so after he's supposed to come out your way you end up going out his way for a conference and you two talk about meeting up and you're both excited and then he doesn't follow up to get the details and it turns out that maybe you're the only who was excited about it after all and you get inordinately bummed about it because you've only met once but he's also the first person in a long, long time that you'd been quite that excited about and so, it turns out, we're not getting married after all.

But don't cry for me, Argentina, I'm too sexy for your tears.